#i know it would probably be totally fine
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venomous-qwille · 4 months ago
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Feeling super torn up at the moment. A long time ago, when GITM was small, I gave blanket perms for people to make NSFW content. At the time, I genuinely thought I would be fine with it. Generally I just want people to have fun with characters and I didn't want to gatekeep stuff when I can just, you know, curate my own space and not look at the content that people make that I don't like.
So that's what I've been doing for the last half a year, not looking at stuff I dont want to and I thought that that would be fine. But, I'll be real, it's eating me the fuck up. I hate the idea that people I dont know are making this stuff en masse, even when I can't see it. Just knowing it exists feels bad. And I hate that I feel this way. I don't want to be the kind of person that tells people 'no you cant do XYZ', these feelings clash hugely with how I identify myself. I wanna be live and let live. As long as they aren't hurting anyone, its fine right?
But fuck. Lately its just been giving me this constant low level anxiety. I know I wont rescind the perms- I feel like that would be super shitty- especially after so many people have put so much effort into creating this content. And I don't know if I'm still gunna feel this way in a year or whatever. If I was fine with it before (when it was just a couple of people I knew personally) shouldn't I be fine with it now? What changed? Is it possible for my feelings to be valid and for them to be unfair at the same time? I'm trying so hard not to make my feelings other people's problem.
I don't know man. This post is the classic, felt cute might delete later. I just needed to shout these thoughts into the void.
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bogkeep · 1 month ago
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btw etsy is doing this incredibly annoying thing that, unless i add tracking to my orders - Which I Do Not Have The Resources To Offer And It Would Increase Shipping Prices Considerably - they're gonna hold on to a third of the money i make from sales for an additional 45 days after :') just because i haven't been using my etsy shop for a while, so it's "suspicious" - even though i HAVE used it in the past and never received complaints about my orders. haha!! what a user friendly platform!!!!!
not to mention all the recommendations like "you know, if you offer free shipping you'll sell better :)" "1-3 days processing time is worse for sales than 1-2 days processing time, you should REALLY CONSIDER going for that one instead :)" "you should add videos of your wares, it'll sell better :)" when i just. i just wanna sell my little pieces of paper i have been drawing on. i just want a convenient and accessible storefront and sell things in a way that is convenient and accesible to me. is it really So Much to ask for
anyway does anyone know if ko-fi store is any better to use? switching to a different storefront may be a hassle but i'm not sure how long my tolerance for etsy's bullshit will last
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phagodyke · 1 month ago
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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totaleclipse573 · 3 months ago
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Thinking rn about how Terios was raised and grew up on the Black Comet I’ll talk in the tags
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cursedvessels · 10 months ago
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closed starter for @noiranamnesis
"Are you here about the secretary job? I'm afraid I've no time for another interview unless you've got something very impressive to show me..." His words were extremely dismissive, maybe a bit irritated. A hand waved at the other for them to exit the cramped, messy office space.
There were stacks of papers everywhere; cardboard boxes piled in corners, trinkets and newspapers, broken bits and bobs, several empty coffee mugs as well as his own fresh one, cigarette butts, an overflowing trashcan, stacks of books, old receipts. He looked rugged. And that was putting it lightly. His hair was a fluffy mess atop his head, his skin pallid and eyes sunken from lack of sleep. He had already talked to 13 other applicants today and none had been very impressive. Chewing on the tip of a pencil, his eyes scanned over a folder full of documents, clearly searching for something amidst the absolute chaos of the small space.
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Tossing the folder aside, he pressed his lips into a thin line, hands on his hips as he finally took a moment to look up at the stranger. A heavy sigh. If only he had another cigarette handy...
"And if you've something else to say, you've got less than 3 minutes to say it. I'm not taking on anymore cases at the moment unless it's something worthwhile."
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yonpote · 8 months ago
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Gaming channel suggestion: Dan and Phil react to the Phan Timeline. The revenue from that video alone would pay off their whole mortgage
💀💀 god no
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coquelicoq · 9 months ago
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real-life adulting, man. i'm still my ex's emergency contact 6.5 years after we broke up and he just gave me his new girlfriend's phone number so that i can contact her if something happens to him. this is in lieu of making her his emergency contact, which may seem like it would make more sense, except that he hasn't told his parents about her. so i get to be the emergency contact who then would contact both the girlfriend and the parents. this all makes total sense to me despite the fact that i don't even live in his city. it's whatever! we've known each other a long time!!
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abnormalpsychology · 17 days ago
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thrilling sequel to my poll from back in January
#I wish I was kidding about the eulogy one. I really wish I was#decisions decisions. who to chose#the people I actually like…?? or the people who like me?#these are so stupid I love making them.#bbge polls#bbge.text#more info on each#bc I want to yap abt em#1 - PLEASE return my calls… this girl was so kind and gentlemanly and we had suchhhh awesome chemistry#she goes to an Ivy League so it could be she’s just hella busy w work not ghosting me#I hope it’s that I really liked her :’)#2 - I actually did ask him out. kinda indirectly . and casually. too casually bc now neither of us have brought it up again#he makes me so happy to be around 😭 it makes me kinda emotional#he’s just like… sHOCKING and endearing and never the same#I love him unfortunately no matter what. as a human#3 - SAME FOR HERRRR OMG :( my beloved.#no one has ever been kinder to me maybe.#‘British’ is a downside here bc that means v long distance and . also bc I thought it would be funny to count as a point against her lol#we met during the summer and I miss being around her every day#4 - OKAY. we TOTALLY have chemistry and NOO ONE has acknowledged it. but it’s THERE every time we talk.#and I’ve never really had that w somebody before in this way idk 🫥#I accidentally referred to her as my ‘partner’ when our party members were teamed up together to do something and it was probably FINE but#it sounded so romantic I got embarrassed asf#she can probably tell I like her I don’t think I’m slick 😭😭#and I feel like she might like me too? or we just get along real well I’m not sure#bc we get along like. REALLY well#5 - I stare at her all the time… she is stunning. she writes great poems. soft spoken in this incrediblyyyyy endearing way#I worked up the courage to talk to her n get her number for WEEKS!!!! and then. nothing lol#6 - he’s a great conversationalist… and I know he’s single….. but he also likes Quentin Tarantino like. abnormal amounts idk#shit . I’m out of tags. for the rest uhhh use ur imagination bye :)
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nemesis-is-my-middle-name · 24 days ago
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yknow what minor transient detail abt s4 is fun to me? prior to john's reveal, noel apparently assumes the KIY to be a totally unfamiliar character to them both. he pauses his story to give background info on him ("he rules the dreamlands, he's a master manipulator, etc") in a way he doesn't with other stuff. he points out yellow like "that's the bitch btw. if you were curious." which is. like he knows they were in the dreamlands. i think he knows or at least assumes they were in the pits for a while given they ran into lorick. what does he think they were doing there. just. passing through??
#the nemesis speaks#mv liveblog#malevolent spoilers#like it's not SUCH an unreasonable assumption especially with arthur doing his level best to Not React in a way that will draw suspicion#+ lorick says the KIY doesn't even know he's down there so you can get to the pits by other means#but like. not just to have not directly interacted with the king but to be completely unfamiliar with him as a concept?? ?#that i feel would strike him as kind of odd. what does he imagine is up with them.#i would pay money for a genuine cards on the table conversation btwn them all that doesn't happen at gunpoint#relatedly a lot of The Order is fun from noel's pov#the point where arthur has to hard stop to remind john where they are and what's happening for one.#and he's just gotta be like hm. okay. that's. deeply concerning but i don't think we have time to get into it right now#also the part where art starts addressing yellow as. well. ''yellow.'' like making it obvious they know each other already#i just think it's funny that noel still doesn't know shit fuck about what's happened in the rest of the podcast#but now he's finding out apparently arthur's had two totally separate fragments of the king in his head at different points? and he's fine?#and one of them has beef with him?? and he's talking DOWN to it?? he's... apologizing for... fucking up... raising..... it....?? ? ?#round of applause for noel's ability to Just Roll With It everyone#like god. he thought he was facing down with the all-powerful source of ten years of hardcore trauma#and then arthur's just like. every fragment of the king in this room answers to me. i'm gonna antagonize one of em into manifesting#just for the hell of it. just so i can have a lil chat. because i can do that easily and with zero fear of repercussions.#hi fragment of the Fucking KIY that i gave a stupid nickname and apparently feel some kind of responsibility for.#what do u think noel thought abt that. i feel like he probably thought it was kinda hot#hm. these tags are getting away from me a bit. this is kind of me liveblogging a transcript reread. i'm gonna stop now
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deaddriv-talks · 2 months ago
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Konoha's name in braille
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Japanese braille (tenji): このは あきのり
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English braille: Konoha Akinori
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Korean braille (jeomja): 코노하 아키노리
This is so random. I really need to increase my skill range. By the way, fun fact, Japanese braille has spaces unlike Japanese. And this is kana braille because kanji braille is way too complicated for me.
Unicode versions in case anyone's interested (warning, it looks a little misleading: dots on the right look like they're on the left):
このは あきのり ⠪⠎⠥ ⠁⠣⠎⠓
Konoha Akinori ⠠⠅⠕⠝⠕⠓⠁⠀⠠⠁⠅⠔⠕⠗⠊
코노하 아키노리 ⠋⠥⠉⠥⠚ ⠣⠋⠕⠉⠥⠂⠕
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dandyshucks · 4 months ago
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also I got rly scared abt this last night or the night before because I suddenly realized sometimes people interpret it this way,,
so i just wanted to say that the reason i dont interact w people very much is NOT bc i think im better than ppl or anything - i am just very genuinely Petrified of messing up in social situations, to the point that I end up isolating and avoiding rather than risk making mistakes ^^;; WHICH ISN'T HEALTHY but . i havent figured out how to work through this yet dhdjdkl
BUT YEAH i just wanted to try to make sure nobody is thinking I'm some hoity-toity goober, I am literally just Extremely Terrified fjdjdkdl
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johndonneswife · 8 months ago
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someone really should be talking about how difficult it is to plan a wedding - a gay wedding - when both of your families fucking suck
#who is talking about this!!!! let me know#idk i have 0 expectations for my family but they still somehow always manage to let me down which#i was anticipating#and i didn’t think i would care because i have never cared before#but liiiiiike.#i wasn’t expecting to feel sad rofl but my family is so fucking flaky. again i KNOW THIS i know i cannot rely on any of them#it’s annoying when i have given them a year and a half to make plans and i have had so many people tell me they would be there#just to back out or ghost or come up with some excuse#like do you know how expensive weddings are 😭 JUST fucking be honest with me and rsvp no#anyway i was very intentional with the few family members i did invite#and specifically invited people i have a rapport with / had a good (ish lol) relationship with growing up#people i have bent over backwards trying to please!!! and dropping everything to help them out#and they can’t even be bothered to communicate with me lol it’s fine. like. i do feel like it’s internalized homophobia at this point#or maybe they have hated me this entire time which is totally plausible#but they KNOW how much ayesha means to me and knows that no one from her family is coming to our wedding#at the end of the day it’s going to be like. 5 people from my family 1 from ayesha’s (her brother) and like 30-40 friends#which i am so grateful for obviously#i sound like such a brat but it’s also like - watching your family continuously choose drugs/alcohol over showing up for you - lol#AGAIN i’m used to this and expected as much but i’m still feeling bad#just rsvp so i can move on with my life please. stop telling me you’re trying to make it work when we both know you aren’t#i have so much more to say but i’m going to sound crazy even though i knooooow it is homophobia like i Know it#i think there are certain people i will finally go no contact with for good after this#which is a freeing thought but i only invited v few family members to begin with. there’s abt to be no one left lmao#probably for the best#ugh whatever#again i can’t help but feel a certain way when they have done more/traveled further for relatives they hardly know#meanwhile i was forced to spend so much of my life living for these people and for them alone#AAAAAAAA i just want to scream#text
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loregoddess · 1 year ago
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so I've been watching the KH Union Cross stuff (in order, thank goodness, this would be so confusing to piece together otherwise), and like, I knew enough about UX that the appearance of the foretellers at the end of KH3 wasn't confusing bc I knew who they all were, but getting the expanded, explained lore and I'm like okay, actually these weirdos in animal masks are pretty cool, glad to know they'll show up (presumably) in future games
also I'm glad that memorizing the Latin names for the seven deadly sins is finally paying off
#I'm still going to have to comb the wiki or something later to figure out some lingering questions#which I probably still have bc I got a condensed version of all the games for just the story content#so any weird bits of minor worldbuilding that occur due to like gameplay stuff I'd totally miss out on#or I just simply Don't Remember what something was when it was explained bc I was distracted by the outfit designs or something#(I am so distracted by character designs all the time and KH outfits are off-the-wall distracting)#but like overall actually the UX stuff is very interesting!#love to see that lack of communication and poor decision making is not just limited to the old men of the series#(except Merlin he's fine actually he's the only old man who does not seem to make poor life choices)#like wow so many issues might have been avoided if decisions were made differently#which I mean the story works great bc the tragedy is knowing that things could have been better but would never be#bc the characters wouldn't have made the decisions differently bc of their characterization#and UX being Oops All Prequels means it was fated to be tragic in some way or another bc like#you do not get the setting of KH w/out the tragedy of the first Keyblad War (and possibly other things?)#so like I'm fine with the characters making poor decisions bc it makes a good story but also Hot Damn#KH is just generations of mistakes and poor life decisions#and the kids are actually really doing their best at every turn even if they're against the absolute worst odds#and still the theme of the power of friendships persists...absolutely excellent#oracle of lore
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mangoisms · 1 year ago
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weird question. but in ur opinion, what major would tim do at college? I was thinking comp sci but making him a business major would be so funny
good question! to be honest.. i want to say it’s difficult to pin down any one major he’d choose, especially because i feel like he’s not exactly academically inclined, at least if he’s doing vigilante stuff? school was always a big issue for him hence him dropping out to focus on The Mission and that seems like All He Is Doing right now thank you dc editorial. but if he isn’t… comp sci is a good choice but for me, i lean towards maybe something like mechanical engineering? or electrical engineering? kinda feel like he has comp sci in the bag already from having to learn it/having learned it in his time as a vigilante (largely due to babs im sure!)
but mechanical or electrical engineering just because of how much stuff he created for his suit when he was robin and how he was always reconfiguring redbird and messing with all of it. although where those skills and that degree could be applied is Another Question Entirely. my best guess is — and this is probably super basic — with WE? or maybe if we want to have a little fun. somewhere like kord industries. or even STAR labs. or maybe a teaching position? could see him being down for that as he gets older
a little more indulgent would be photography but even if not a major i would like to think he at least minors in it or something!
business major would be SO funny because he would be miserable the entire time. i think.
but yeah! he’s just. idk. probably hates prerequisites. probably wants to take ten classes at once. he’d really need to slow down i think which is the goal. ultimately. for me. in any case This got very long my bad <3 i’m just. fascinated by him and his mysterious future
#this is not at all a weird question anon this is a question i’ve thought about At Length#because it’s not at all clear cut on what he would study in college or what he would do as a job#working with WE is a cop out and it’s very intentional because i think he knows that too#and it’s easy. right. so it’s not bad necessarily but it’s like. Expected. and i don’t feel like it’s something he would want to do#For The Rest Of His Life. you know?#wait i hope that doesn’t come off negatively. me saying it’s a cop out. i think it’s like. subtext. known. it’s like yeah he’s working there#and he uses it to his advantage to avoid questions about the future ESPECIALLT if he’s still doing the vigilante thing#and like with the others it’s fairly easy. jason the obvious choice fandom likes is english teacher#Me personally i like him as a nurse/EMT#dick? he’s not a cop idc what dc says HE IS NOT A COP. that man is a gymnastics instructor#or maybe. social worker. had that thought at one point#damian? feel like the obvious choice is something with WE but i do like the thought of him as a vet can’t lie#cass… she does not dream of labor. i do not dream of her dreaming of labor. bruce probably doesn’t either hes totally fine with her just#living her life. doing some ballet on the side. you know. just having fun#you know??#for steph. social worker. i think.#for duke…. oh god. i don’t know. i have Thoughrs. but i’m not sure if they’re correct#first one is counselor. but then i jump to he might be the guy to major in mathematics. OR! comp sci? maybe? i think that could be up his#alley? idk. open to suggestions#open to suggestions for all of these <3 if anyone disagrees. also god sorry these tags are so long#inbox#anonymous
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tschulijulesjulie · 2 years ago
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my biggest flaw is that i still think Laurent never did anything wrong and Damen should be the only one apologizing in this relationship
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napsaps-archive · 2 years ago
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